Friday, March 15, 2013

Punc--EEK! Pt. 3 More dialogue

As we saw last time, dialogue can be split by a tag, and I gave you some tips for how to punctuate that. Again, always remember that you are punctuating the dialogue.

Sometimes you need to split dialogue with an action, and the punc for that looks very strange to a lot of people. Here's an example:

"I think we should go"--she pointed down the hallway--"to the left."

Now I know a lot of you are scratching your heads and wondering if I've gone nuts. Because you want to put those dashes inside the quotes, right? But what's the rule? Punctuate the dialogue. The dashes don't belong to the spoken words, they belong to the tag because it interrupts the dialogue. So they surround the tag. They don't go inside the quotes.

By the way, the action should be a complete sentence in its own right. Please, please, please, don't write something like this:  "I think we should go"--pointing down the hallway--"to the left." An alternative version like "I think we should go," she said, pointing down the hallway, "to the left." is acceptable. However, the tighter, more active "she pointed down the hallway" is preferred.

ALERT: Word processing programs will want to use close quotes after the second dash. Don't let them get away with that. One way to get around the program's proclivity is to put a space after the dash, type the opening quotes, then delete the space. A bit cumbersome, I agree, and if someone knows of a shortcut, I'd love to hear from you.

Sometimes a long speech spills over into a new paragraph. You don't see this much anymore, but it does still happen. In that case, use close quotes at the end of the last paragraph only. Use opening quotes at the beginning of every paragraph:

     "I was born in a small town in northern Arizona," he said. "My parents and grandparents were born there, too, and everyone assumed I'd raise my family in that same small town.
     "But I have itchy feet, can't stand staying in one place for too long. So I left that town behind as soon as I got out of high school, and never looked back. How can a guy stand the same old faces and places all his life?
     "Paris, Calcutta, Adelaide--I love seeing new cities. Gotta keep moving. Someday I'm gonna make it to the moon."

 Okay, that's an awful example, but you get the idea. All the punc stays the same, except you don't use close quotes until the very end. 

Next time, we'll play with quotes within quotes and the weird-looking punctuation that sometimes results.


14 comments:

  1. Fascinating, Nikki. Can't wait to read what you have next week.

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    1. Thanks, Rue. I'm glad this is helpful and maybe a little fun for you.

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  2. Thanks Nikki,I have a difficult time with long paragraphs (there are a lot of them in my book) I will keep this so I can refer back to it while I am working on my second book. Take care Karen Ann

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  3. Thanks especially for "I think we should go"--pointing down the hallway, etc. My impulse has always been to put the " after the dash, and as you note, that's wrong!
    Good work.

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  4. Are the dashes rather than comman preferred in split quotes, Nikki?
    Good lesson today.

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    1. If you're splitting with a dialogue tag, use commas. With an action beat, use dashes. So: "I think we should go"--she pointed down the hallway-- "to the left." OR "I think we should go," she said, pointing down the hallway, "to the left."

      At this point it becomes a stylistic issue. How do you want the reader to "hear" what you write? Dashes are more emphatic.

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  5. My issues occur in conversations among three or more people. Thanks for the tips, though. www.dkchristi.com Author of Ghost Orchid and more

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    1. Same rules apply, DK. The main difference is in making sure the reader knows who is speaking.

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  6. You will see those dashes outside of quotes again, Nikki. Very active. Thanks for the tip. R

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  7. Thanks, but I think I'll stick with commas!

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    1. As I said above, Jacqui, it becomes a matter of style. Sometimes dashes work better, and other times commas do. Thanks for stopping in.

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  8. Very interesting about the dashes, Nikki - I've only ever used commas, but I understand what you mean. Funily enough, I was just telling one of our writing group members about not closing quotes until the end of two paragraphs of dialogue - she'd never come across that before.

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    1. If you read older novels, Romy, you're more likely to see dialogue extending over more than one par, but it does still happen. Today's writing tends toward shorter dialogue, but if someone is, say, reviewing the course of a murder investigation or revealing a past trauma, the dialogue could extend over several pars. If you were to close quotes at the end of each par, you would cue the reader to expect a new speaker. That might cause confusion, and you don't want to do that. Feel free to invite any writers you know to stop in!

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