Last week Shellie Saunders introduced her new novel, Broken Vessels. This week she releases the lovely trailer for it. Click on the image below to watch.

Punc--EEK! Commas Pt. 2

“Officer, I’m sorry I was speeding.”

“I’m sorry I was speeding, Officer.”

“I was speeding, Officer, and I’m sorry.”

Hands up if you’ve used one or more of the above. Me, me, and me. I drive like Danica Patrick, but I’m not as pretty. And I don’t crash as often.

Since we’re talking about commas, take a note of them in those first three sentences. See how they separate “Officer” from the rest of the sentence? That’s a rule for you to follow: Commas set off words of direct address. I’m sure you’ve seen books in which the comma is omitted before the name: “I’m sorry I was speeding Officer, and I’m sorry.” According to UK usage, you can do that. Publishers in North America frown on the omission, however.

I have to admit this is a pet peeve of mine, drilled into me by Sister Lucille in second grade. I can still hear one of the less gifted readers in that class. “See Spot run comma pause Jane period drop your voice. Run comma pause Spot comma pause run period drop your voice.” Poor guy. But the rest of us sure got clued in to using commas around words of address.

If you need a comma or two for setting off names, you can shift them from their erroneous positions after conjunctions. But she wasn’t speeding. And she didn’t get a ticket. So she got to the track on time. This rule highlights another pet peeve of mine: Do not use commas after conjunctions, even if the conjunction starts a sentence.

But, I hear you complain, you said to put a comma where you would take a pause if you were reading aloud. (And what about that comma after the first word of this paragraph? We’ll get to that.) A lot of writers use a comma to indicate the emphasis put on a conjunction. I like to drive fast. But, I hate to get a ticket. Yes, you can imitate spoken words this way, but that doesn’t make it correct. If you want to emphasize the conjunction, use a dash: But—I hate to get a ticket. Better yet, rewrite to avoid the problem altogether by making the rest of the sentence stronger. I like to drive fast, but getting a ticket is the pits. Or Even though I like to drive fast, getting a ticket sucks.

About that But, I wrote in the preceding paragraph. In this instance the comma is one of two setting off the interjection I hear you complain. The sentence would be complete and make sense without the interjection, right? It’s not essential to the sentence, so you need to set it off with commas. The interjection can be an independent clause (one that could stand alone as a complete sentence) a dependent clause (I bet you can figure that out), or a single word or short phrase (But, hey, you said…) Commas set off interjections.

Wow, three rules in one week! You’re on your way to comma mastery. For really fun discussions, see Lynne Truss’ wonderful book Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Really detailed but not so much fun discussions can be found in CMOS (Chicago Manual of Style).

Next time: Comma comma comma chameleon.

Introducing Shellie M. Saunders

Please welcome Shellie M. Saunders, author of the newly released self-published novel, Broken Vessels. I had the privilege and joy of editing the book, and I was moved by this heart-warming novel of loss, redemption, and family strength. I’m glad you’re here, Shellie, and congratulations.

Shellie has 15 years’ experience in writing and publishing  everything from children’s stories to marketing materials. She has degrees in Print Journalism and Written Communications. She lives in Detroit with her husband and daughter.

Here is the blurb for Broken Vessels:

By all outward appearances, 27-year-old Trinity Porter has everything figured out. In reality, she has spent years hiding behind a façade, and now it's starting to crumble. With her world turned upside down, she questions her faith and must make a decision. Will Trinity get out of God’s way or continue to do things her way?

Tell us about writing Broken Vessels. How did you get started?

Thanks, Nikki! Although much of my writing has been nonfiction, I’ve wanted a career as a novelist since college. I started Broken Vessels years ago after getting the idea for a scene that later became part of Chapter 2. I sat down and wrote it. Then I had no idea what to do with it, so I put it away and went on with life. Over the course of about a year, I wrote down plot ideas. When I was ready, I began working on character development, revisited that first scene and looked at it against my notebook to determine if anything could be integrated into the story. From there I started to write and let the characters tell me where they wanted to go.

Did you do a lot of research or did it come out of life experience?

It’s funny you ask, because the answer is both. I have a vivid imagination and a background in technical writing, which complements my analytical nature. Much of what I wrote--like the setting--started with life experience. Broken Vessels is set in Detroit, and I’m from metro Detroit. I integrated jewels and staples of the area to promote familiarity and nostalgia to those who know Detroit and to reveal a refreshing side of the city to those who know it only from the media. Once I got started writing, the technical writer in me came out and I got into the research. I had to blend historical factors, explore Biblical messages and create believable scenes. I enjoy merging imagination with research because it helps create realistic scenes. I want readers to say, “I’ve been there” about a place they’ve never been.

You certainly succeeded in that. I had a very clear picture of your settings. What was the hardest part of writing or publishing the novel?

Finishing. Even when I completed the manuscript, it wasn’t done because I am a perfectionist. The manuscript went through two rounds of editing, where you helped me to tighten up the flow. Then it went through several rounds of proofreading because I wanted to ensure that any spelling errors and inconsistencies were fixed. It was worth the extra attention to detail, because I now have a better product.

It’s a truism that no writer can edit her own work, but it’s always a thrill to see it shine after the red pencil does its job. Are you a pantser or a plotter? A little of both?

Without a doubt, I was born a pantser. In school I used to write a paper first then do the outline, so it is no surprise that style carried over to writing a book. With Broken Vessels, I had no idea how the book would end. As the story evolved, I was inspired to write about finding faith despite tribulation. I let the characters to take me on a journey without realizing that I would actually grow with them—especially Trinity, whom I admire for her strength, sense of humor and deep-seated desire to follow her moral compass. In the future, I will probably do things more traditionally and use an outline, but there won’t be a great departure from allowing my imagination to drive the writing process.

Umm, a word of experience. My characters look at my outline, laugh hysterically, and do whatever they want. It’s like herding butterflies. I know you work full time in business writing. Do you have a routine for your fiction writing? What distracts you? How do you deal with dry spells? (I don’t like to call them blocks.)

Because of my work schedule and the fact that my husband and I are raising a toddler, I end up writing on nights and weekends. Whenever I do get a little down time, I’m writing. My husband jokes that my laptop is an appendage. Ironically, what tends to distract me is my laptop because I end up floating over to Facebook or e-mail. I’ve figured out one solution, though. Starting a Facebook Fanpage (Shellie M. Saunders) has let me write and be on Facebook at the same time. How’s that for a little ingenuity?

When I get a dry spell, I find that it’s best to step away and regroup. That may mean working out, taking a walk, listening to music or calling an old friend. And you never know if something you see or someone you talk to will spark your creativity. When I have to take a writing break, I try to keep a pocket-sized notebook nearby so I can jot down any inspiration.

I have notebooks everywhere, but my tidy husband keeps putting them “away.” Do you remember the first book you ever read?  The first story you wrote?

The first book I remember was A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein, but the first story I remember reading was Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. by Judy Blume. I think I was nine when I read it, and though I was several years younger than Margaret (the protagonist) I connected with her. The first story I remember writing was called “He Can’t Hurt Me Anymore.” It was a ninth grade English project about a girl dealing with the death of her abusive father. The story was a distinct deviation from my own upbringing, but it let me test my ability to create a character whose experiences and family were very different from my own.

What about the book are you most pleased with/proud of?

The aspect that pleases me most about Broken Vessels is that it addresses topics that are usually off limits for stories with a Bible-based message. Broken Vessels reflects real people, using realistic language and scenarios, so I think it offers something that everyone can relate to.

What are you working on now? Is it related to Broken Vessels?

I have two projects that I will soon be putting to paper. One is a sequel to Broken Vessels and the other puts a modern day spin on a scandalous Bible story.

Thanks for being here, Shellie. It's been a lot of fun, and I wish you all the best with Broken Vessels.

Where can we find you? 

Website: www.shelliemsaunders.com
Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Shellie-M-Saunders/130430580472332?ref=hl

Twitter: @ShellieWrites blog: http://writerisma.blogspot.com/

Punc--EEK! Commas

"Let's eat Grandma." 
"Let's eat, Grandma." 
See? Commas really do save lives.

All kidding aside, let's not knock the ubiquitous comma. It's the most common punctuation mark, which pretty much guarantees it's the most misused one. Writers have a lot of leeway with commas, but there are some rather hard and fast rules.

A little history might help. Back in the day, when most people had to have books read to them, commas provided a visual cue to the reader: Take a brief pause here! Here is a break in the rythmn! In our age of widespread literacy, commas serve much the same purpose. They set off sentence parts, indicate short pauses, and help avoid confusion. If you think of them that way, the rules will make more sense. Most of the time. There are exceptions, I'm afraid, but we'll get into those later.

Serial commas
Everyone wants to know about the serial comma, so I'll talk about that first. When the text includes a series of words or phrases,  the preferred usage demands a comma between them. When the final words/phrases are joined by a conjunction, put the comma before the conjunction. The flag is red, white, and blue. I ate breakfast, went for a walk, and collected the mail. My brother likes steak, I prefer chicken, and my sister is vegan. 

These sentences would not be incorrect without the final commas, but take a second look at the final sentence. Suppose it was in a book, and the line broke after the word "sister."

My brother likes steak, I prefer chicken and my sister 

is vegan. 

Without the comma after chicken, a slight chance exists that someone could think I prefer (to eat) chicken and my sister. Eww.


If all the elements of a sentence are short and joined by conjunctions, you don't need any commas. Sally ordered eggs and bacon and toast.  If they're long or complicated, use commas to indicate pauses. If you think about reading the text aloud, you'll see where you need to insert commas.

When items in a series include internal punc of their own, separate them with semi-colons. I'd like to introduce my mother, Ginny; my father, Walt; my brother, Tom; and my sister, Peg. 

(I might as well point out here that, yes, you do need a comma after father, mother, brother, sister unless you have more than one of any of them. My brother Tom [no comma] indicates "not my brother Dave." This is one of those nitpicky rules you just have to learn.)


Note that some writers and publishers don't like the serial comma. Be guided by your publisher's wishes and, above all, by clarity. If a comma would make your writing clearer, by all means use it. 

Okay, that's enough for one lesson. More on commas next week.

Punc--EEK Part 4-Quotes within quotes

Quotes within quotes. *Evil laughter* No, seriously, this isn't so bad. You've already mastered the basics of punctuating dialogue and splitting it in several different ways. What do you have to worry about?

First, what is a quote within a quote? At its most basic, it's a character citing what someone else said.
Like this:
John said,"Billy told me, 'Sue is going to get you' yesterday."  Notice John's dialogue is punctuated normally, and Billy's dialogue within John's uses single quotes. That's it. The fun starts with more complicated sentences.

John said, "Billy told me, 'Sue is going to get you,' so I'm not going to school today."  In this sentence, Billy's quote is followed by a comma (inside the single quote) because of the ensuing dependent clause (so I'm not going to school today.) Make sense so far? Let's ramp up the fun.

John said, "Billy told me, 'Sue is going to get you!' so I'm not going to school today."  See the exclamation point? Notice there is no comma? Very good. If Billy's quote ended with a question mark in this sentence there would be no comma there, either.

I know you're all dying to hear about the weird punc I mentioned in last week's post. Such weirdness usually occurs at the ends of sentences.

John said, "I'm not going to school today because Billy told me, 'Sue is going to get you.'"  Aha. Look at that weird '" at the end. Three apostrophes? No. It's a single quote ' to end Billy's dialogue, followed by a double quote " to end John's dialogue.

Suppose you want to inject some excitement. John said, "I'm not going to school today because Billy told me, 'Sue is going to get you!'"  Punctuated like this, the sentence indicates that Billy is excited. Why? Because the exclamation point is inside Billy's dialogue. Suppose Billy doesn't care, but John does. You'd punc it like this: John said, "I'm not going to school today because Billy told me, 'Sue is going to get you'!"  I know, I know. That looks weird. Please don't cry. Remember my basic rule: Punctuate the dialogue. Decide which of your speakers needs the exclamation point, and put it in his speech.

Here's a variant with a question mark in it: Mom said, "You're not going to school because Billy told you,'Sue is going to get you'?"  You could replace the question mark with an exclamation point, but you can't use both. Sorry, but you can't.

In general, exclamation points and question marks stay with the dialogue they belong to, while commas and periods go inside the quote marks. As we saw in the preceding paragraphs, there may sometimes be flexibility. When that happens, the writer gets to make the decision based on where the emphasis needs to be.

One more example, then I'll let your tired minds rest. Who wrote, "All the world's a stage"? The question mark does not belong to the quotation, so it goes outside the quote marks. But: Shakespeare wrote, "All the world's a stage." 

I know you'll find plenty of variations and have tons of questions. Keep remembering to punctuate the dialogue, and you'll get through most situations. If you're still puzzled, consult Chicago Manual of Style or Strunk and White's Elements of Style. Ask your editor, or ask me (and I'll run straight to CMOS or EOS)!

Next time, we'll start on commas.

Punc--EEK! Pt. 3 More dialogue

As we saw last time, dialogue can be split by a tag, and I gave you some tips for how to punctuate that. Again, always remember that you are punctuating the dialogue.

Sometimes you need to split dialogue with an action, and the punc for that looks very strange to a lot of people. Here's an example:

"I think we should go"--she pointed down the hallway--"to the left."

Now I know a lot of you are scratching your heads and wondering if I've gone nuts. Because you want to put those dashes inside the quotes, right? But what's the rule? Punctuate the dialogue. The dashes don't belong to the spoken words, they belong to the tag because it interrupts the dialogue. So they surround the tag. They don't go inside the quotes.

By the way, the action should be a complete sentence in its own right. Please, please, please, don't write something like this:  "I think we should go"--pointing down the hallway--"to the left." An alternative version like "I think we should go," she said, pointing down the hallway, "to the left." is acceptable. However, the tighter, more active "she pointed down the hallway" is preferred.

ALERT: Word processing programs will want to use close quotes after the second dash. Don't let them get away with that. One way to get around the program's proclivity is to put a space after the dash, type the opening quotes, then delete the space. A bit cumbersome, I agree, and if someone knows of a shortcut, I'd love to hear from you.

Sometimes a long speech spills over into a new paragraph. You don't see this much anymore, but it does still happen. In that case, use close quotes at the end of the last paragraph only. Use opening quotes at the beginning of every paragraph:

     "I was born in a small town in northern Arizona," he said. "My parents and grandparents were born there, too, and everyone assumed I'd raise my family in that same small town.

     "But I have itchy feet, can't stand staying in one place for too long. So I left that town behind as soon as I got out of high school, and never looked back. How can a guy stand the same old faces and places all his life?

     "Paris, Calcutta, Adelaide--I love seeing new cities. Gotta keep moving. Someday I'm gonna make it to the moon."

 Okay, that's an awful example, but you get the idea. All the punc stays the same, except you don't use close quotes until the very end. 

Next time, we'll play with quotes within quotes and the weird-looking punctuation that sometimes results.

Punc--EEK Part 2-Splitting dialogue

Last week we talked about  punctuating basic dialogue. The first rule is that punctuation almost always goes inside the quote marks--we'll get to the exceptions later. Let's take it one step further today, and split the dialogue before and after a dialogue tag (he said, asked John, etc.).

The important thing to remember is to punctuate the spoken words as you would any other sentence. The dialogue tag in the middle needs to be separated from these words by commas and quote marks.

"I think," said Jack, "you're making a mountain out of a molehill." Note the commas after think and Jack, the lower case letters at the beginning of said and you're. Also note quote marks after think, and before you're. There is a space between the quotes and the tag. I've marked the spaces in red to make it clear.

Here's another example. "Carol," he asked, "are you sure?" Again, there is a comma at the end of the first part of the dialogue and at the end of the tag. The first letter of the tag and the first letter of the second part of the dialogue are lower case (unless either one begins a name). Most especially, note that the question mark comes at the end of the sentence and inside the quote marks.

Naturally, there are exceptions and variations. Be guided by how you want the reader to "hear" the dialogue. If you read the first example aloud, notice that you slow down a bit when you come to the tag. This suggests to the reader that Jack is speaking slowly, perhaps with an emphasis on I to differentiate his opinion from someone else's, or that he's not entirely sure of what he's saying.

Let's try something a bit more advanced. It's not really complicated if you remember that you are punctuating sentences.

"I'll remember that," said Jack. "Punctuation is really complicated." Here the dialogue consists of two sentences: I'll remember that. Punctuation is really complicated. So you put a period after Jack. Many writers think that if dialogue continues, the tag is always followed by a comma. Not true. If the dialogue consists of two or more sentences, put a period after the tag.

One last consideration today. The rules about question marks and exclamation marks we learned last week also apply to split dialogue.

"I'll remember that!" said Jack. "It's complicated."
"Can you remember that?" the teacher asked. "It's not that hard."

Homework: if you have an example of split dialogue that puzzles you, ask me.